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For a long time, the secretary of a business acquaintance of mine used to irritate me. Whatever she said got under my skin. No matter how much I tried to be pleasant, I just could not connect with her. She needed to change.
One day after speaking with her, I noticed that I had not felt in anyway upset by what she had said. In fact, I had had a very pleasant conversation with her. I was amazed and pleased in equal measure.
When I reflected upon this, I realised that it wasn’t she who had changed, but me. I never forgot that insight.
If the primary purpose of life is to reach spiritual enlightenment, and it is, then it should be clear that there is a reason why Donald Trump is President of the United States of America.
What we are told are narcissistic symptoms in the President, are a mirror for everyone to look deep into themselves and ask: ‘Am I like this in anyway?’.
Narcissism is defined in psychological terms as a personality type that reveals itself by:
‘extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration’.
A narcissist is a person whose ego has all but totally usurped the soul.
Of course, it should be remembered that this personality type is actually suffering, and I mean suffering from a mental illness. Such a person needs our sympathy and help – not our derision and condemnation.
What is the difference between the ego and the soul? The ego is motivated by the desire to receive for itself alone whereas the soul is motivated by the desire to share.
The ego is the false you. The ego is a mental construct. It is not real. It is what you subconsciously believe others expect of you. It is this false mental expectation that causes stress, anxiety, depression and ultimately a break down. Why? Because you can never live up to the ego’s expectations. It has an insatiable appetite.
The soul is the real authentic you. It is light, expansive. It is love.
We each of us have the challenge to discern the source of our own thoughts, words and deeds. Are they from the soul or ego?
If you want to change Mr Trump, then start by changing you – the ego in you. Let your soul take control of your thoughts, words and deeds and see how things improve.
It is only by increasing your own self-awareness, that you will realise that the only person who can change another’s self-awareness, is them – not you.
Paul Kolberg
January 2018
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